STORY BY raphael beretta
ILLUSTRATION BY GEORGIA REIDY
The realization that you’ve been adopted by a new family hits you like a wall of frigid air. Especially if you’ve just been flown from the equator to Upstate New York in the middle of winter.
“One of the first memories [I had] was getting off the plane and feeling this wall of cold weather. Seeing snow for the first time. The colors were different, it looked like a whole new world,” Hyelom Love said. His most tangible memories start at this moment, all that remains from before the flight are “emotional memories.”
Hyelom was adopted from an orphanage in Ethiopia in 2004 and brought back to Rye, New York. His distinct identity as a child from one of the poorest countries in Africa that grew up in one of the most affluent counties in New York State has influenced many of his experiences.
Much of Hyelom’s life remains a mystery. When he arrived at the orphanage as an infant, he had no birth certificate, no official documents of any kind, and no information on his biological parents. Doctors estimated his birthday by examining his teeth. “The only thing I came with was my name.”
His parents have requested information from the Ethiopian government several times to no avail. Based on the timing of his birth in 1997, it is likely his father fought in the war between Somalia and Ethiopia, and there is a high chance he experienced trauma as a young child.
“If we do receive any [information], how credible is it? It’s one of the most impoverished countries in Africa, so the chances of them having any documents on an orphan from Northern Ethiopia is low.”
At the Layla House orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Hyelom sometimes shared a bed with six other kids. To share a room with only his new brother Taylor and have a bed to himself was a tremendous improvement.
However, there were bumps in the road to connect to his family. He had to learn English quickly because his adoptive family could not speak Amharic. “The difference between why I excelled in English and they didn’t is because I was forced to speak it. If I had to ask for food, I had to do it in English.”
Six is an older age for international adoption, as parents are recommended to adopt as young as possible. The government in Ethiopia has in years since banned international adoptions; Hyelom was lucky to be adopted when he was.
Authority was a big problem at the start; it took several years to begin trusting a world that had been so tumultuous for Hyelom. “There was no base level of trust that we had built, [my parents and I.] It was 100% me learning how to trust the world. As I matured, that [dis]trust reflected in the government.”
It took five years of living in the states for Hyelom to find his “groove”. The structure of boarding school—developing independence while maintaining proximity to his family—was good for Hyelom. He attended North Country School up in Lake Placid, NY, for middle school and then transferred to Dublin Preparatory High School in southern New Hampshire.
These schools, located at the bases of popular skiing mountains, provided “rigorous academics” alongside “even more rigorous outdoor activities.” Before the move, Hyelom resented the cycle of going to school and coming home—miserable inside. Hiking and skiing were now constants, and his relationship with his family improved dramatically. “The scenery was life changing.”
“But I think for people like me, you realize how much more bullshit race is when you're raised as a person of color in a white town by a white family. And I think the reason that we're divided is because of these individual small communities that were raised, and the idea of them versus us,” Hyelom said.
Marist College’s political science program provided the perfect arena for Hyelom to explore his “obsession” with political philosophy, and confront issues of race from his unique perspective. Hyelom too often sees a dichotomy arise where “no one knows how to talk about race” so it’s all that’s on people’s minds—careful not to step on each other’s toes. Honest conversation is the only forum for growth and understanding.
Dr. JoAnne Myers (known fondly as Dr. JAM) has worked with Hyelom in political theory classes several times over the last four years. Dr. JAM attested to his growth as a “deep political thinker”. In spite of seeing first-hand the failures of politics and economics, Hyelom analyzes problems from a place of optimism. In several case studies on dismal global issues, Hyelom highlighted the potential for improvement, and for hope. “He wants to be big. He wants to make an impact,” Dr. JAM said.
Hyelom never intimidates; his approach can get anyone passionate about a complex topic. He and fellow student Pamela Armas ‘20 routinely talked theory over a bit of sushi. “It’s cool to see someone who’s that intelligent and knows what they’re talking about, but is able to relate it in colloquial ways…in political science it’s easy to try and ‘one-up’ each other,” Armas said.
“If I sat down with every single kid at Marist and had a conversation with them one-on-one, we’d probably agree on most topics,” Hyelom said. He’s learned in his lifetime that the divide stemming from us-versus-them mentalities can be cured: he has a loving relationship with his family and strives to work with the government, a bastion of the kind of authority he was so skeptical of.
Though several possible roads lay ahead for Hyelom (his administration internship with Atlas Air opened up possible employment in aviation) his obsession with politics will always be rooted in solutions for policy.
“There’s this idea, my life story—the reason I had to be adopted, coming from poverty—would it have happened if certain systems are fixed? That’s what I want to eventually end up doing, fixing broken political systems.”
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